VIDEO: Coping With Loss & Letting Go In Divorce
Divorce is a traumatic event only second to death. And in many ways, it IS a kind of death. Watch my brief video to learn how to cope with this loss AND how to let go and move on.
Coping with loss isn’t easy … regardless of the TYPE of loss. And with divorce, you are hit with a double-whammy. You are grieving for the loss of the marriage and what it means for you and who you are now. And you are also grieving all of your hopes and dreams for what you wanted your marriage to be. You had all these fairy tale ideas that once you got married, all the hard parts of life would get easier. You never expected them to get harder! Expectations ALWAYS set us up for disappointment. They create stories in your mind about how things SHOULD be … and things rarely happen that way. You are also set up for disappointment the minute you thinks of marriage as achievement … as a destination that you’ve arrived at. Marriage is an ever-evolving partnership. It is never static. So, when framed as achievement, marriage that doesn’t work out is easily now considered failure. And that impacts your identity. It impacts who you thought you were. How powerful and capable you thought you were. And without all that, who are you now? You need to acknowledge what you are feeling. You need to really FEEL it …. in order to let it go. Our emotions are temporary. They are neither good or bad … until YOU decide wrhether they are good or bad for YOU. You don’t have to invest in them. If you do, you will keep yourself in this space of loss … of scarcity …. of lack. And nothing good comes from that. So, acknowledge what you feel. Don’t judge it. Don’t judge YOURSELF! And let it go. Time will tell you when you are ready to do that.